Well as you can tell, I’ve been quite busy. I passed all my nursing classes and got assigned a preceptor to follow in the ICU and then was rewarded with a week off to enjoy myself. What do they call that again? Oh yes I remember . . . .College Spring Break!!
I decided to enlist my best friend Steffany to help me enjoy my spring break as thoroughly as possible. We had intended on taking a road trip to visit our other friend. We had saved some money and had a nightmare coordinating dates that could work into both of our overpacked schedules. In the end it didn’t work out. The friend had to cancel but we were not discouraged. We had saved up the money (kind of) and taken the time off work and dammit we were going somewhere! Not often does a mother get a girls trip, actually this is my first ever, and I am kind of upset that it has taken me this long to discover their existence! So I planned to heartily enjoy it.
So, it being college spring break week me and Steff decided to let out our inner wild party girl and just go crazy…
Where did we end up?
Amish country Ohio!!!
Now you may scoff but this is actually a quite happening place to be . . that unless it is after 5:000 pm or is a Sunday.
Oh well . . I’m not embarrassed, I had a wonderful time. And I reminded my husband that I simply must take these little get-a-way trips so that he has time to remember how awesome I am! It worked too! He texted me about 11 that night and said “I remember how awesome you are, so can you come home now?” Aww 🙂
We got to stay in an awesome cabin with a waterfall shower head and a huge hot tub.
This was the living room.
And this is the awesome hot tub
And here was the crazy waterfall head shower I told you about
What I didn’t tell you was that there were 5 water spouts total. The overhead, the handheld and 3 on the side that just stick out of the wall. Now, not only did this make for some extremely complicated showering, but it was slightly creepy. I mean, what was going on with those 3 shower heads on the wall? In light of this shower head placement I have come to the conclusion that the Amish might not be as pure as we once believed. In fact they may be slightly perverted . . . . ewww
Now no college spring break tale would be complete without a fridge shot, you know to show the loads of alcohol kids take on spring break . .
Oh yes.. you are seeing that correctly . . One bottle of wine . . . . we are so old 😦
And lastly I have a pic of what I woke up to the next morning . .
Being old isn’t so bad if it involves wine, fireplaces, relaxing vacations and plenty of sleep 🙂
We also got to bust out our “Read in 10 years” predictions. To be honest . . they were quite depressing 😦
But funny to read nonetheless
At one point I blurt out “Oh no! I’m getting divorced Steff!” to which she replies . . “Oh yeah . . well I’m getting cheated on and then divorced!!”
There actually wasn’t one of us who didn’t predict divorce for the other two . .ouch! Well I must mention that at the time of predictions we were all bitter single ladies 🙂
I’ll fill you in on some of our ominous predictions:
Steff will probably not have any children, but should be getting married in the next year or 2. Teeny is going to have twin girls. Maddox will be a hellion teenager. Steff will marry a dirty rocker boy who will turn into a CEO of a business, cause that’s how it works obviously :)I’m going to live out my dream of living in Louisiana – which apparently is a dream I once had but cannot since recall! None of us will be friends in 4 years and oh Yeah I’m supposed to be an alcoholic! Yes that’s right!!
WTF?!
I don’t even like alcohol!! —- much, I don’t even like alcohol MUCH 🙂
Jeez!
We must have all been clinically depressed when we wrote these!!
Oh wait just found some more pics of our trip
Yes, that is a picture of our sink… excellent observation .. .
And here is me and Steff antique shopping 🙂
And after our extreme makeovers/ Amish style
Me cooking on an ol’ timey stove
Me preparing for the apocalypse by fitting myself for an antique gas mask
Which I then gave to Drew as a gift and described it FALLOUT-esque Haha so sly 🙂
Well you see Drew and I are from 2 different worlds. He loves all things modern and techy and I like anything that doesn’t require electricity and am averse to any sort of change. So antiques are not really a souvenir he would like, which is why I had to relate it to one of his favorite video games. This way he thinks he has some awesome video game memorabilia and I get to purchase an apocalypse gas mask without mockery 🙂 See? Win – Win . . unless he reads my blog and discovers my deception 😦
Oh and one last picture of something we found while searching for Maddox the appropriate souvenir.
That is a NICU baby in an incubator and an extremely evil-looking woman (based solely on eyebrow thickness) who probably put the baby there! What a terrible toy!!
It wasn’t until we had finished up all our antiquing that I saw a sign that said
“DO NOT TAKE PICTURES IN ANTIQUE MALL!”
oops 🙂
And then while I was reading this sign . .
“IF IT SLIPS THROUGH YOUR FINGERS YOU’RE BUYING IT!”
I hear a big crash and Steff, arms overfilling with various antique glassware, drops the saucer to her one-of-a-kind teacup set. I don’t know anyone who would believe that Steff, not me, was the one to drop and break something, but I swear by it! Kind of 🙂
And then there was the road trip conversation of 2 crazy college gals . . .
We discussed grammar and I was taught when it was appropriate to use your vs. you’re…
yes absolutely wild and crazy we are, and apparently I talk like Yoda . .who knew?
Oh and how to avoid getting tickets. Crying and Cleavage do not work.
The only thing you can do is to not look the cop directly in the eye when he is parked looking for speeders. This is construed as a threat and you will surely be pulled over and fined for threatening a police officer. Steff uses the tried and true “car dance method” will I use the “I have so much on my mind, oh I’m so stressed that I don’t even see you sitting there officer.” Whichever FOOLPROOF method you use, just don’t look directly in their eyes and you should be fine 🙂
Oh and I forgot to mention that once we got there we could not get cell phone service in the cabin, we had to stand in the driveway. No internet either. Now this was extremely difficult for me as this was the first time I had been away from my family. Why . .if I couldn’t call and strict give instructions over the phone the house would surely ignite and burn to the ground! After all, things fall apart when mother’s are not there 🙂
It didn’t turn out to be much of a problem though until bedtime. When I am away from Drew for the night (which is rarely) I have a sort of Bart Simpson approach. There was an episode of the Simpson’s where Bart was left home alone for several days. It showed his routine and his mantra of “Day is awesome! Night is scary.” And how, during the day he was jumping on the bed drinking Hershey’s syrup straight from the bottle and at night he slept on the kitchen table with 1,000’s of mousetraps surrounding it. Yes, you see, exactly like me when Drew is away. I’m all jumping on the bed and sleeping on the kitchen table with a baseball bat murmuring to myself “Day is awesome! Night is scary!” 🙂
Well the overnight stay was perfectly fine. . in the daytime. Lights out is a whole different story. It didn’t help that when I called Drew and told him about the cell service he told me that that sounded remarkably like a jammer surrounding the cabin that apparently “jams up” cell phone service. This made for quite a laugh as we went back and forth about how all this was a giant ruse to lure two pretty ladies to the cabin, jam their cell phones and murder them. Yes this is normal conversation for my husband and I 🙂 He went on to say that this was why everything looked so brand new, no one ever lived long enough to use the cabin 😦 Hahaha, a good laugh was had by all.
That is until bedtime . . .
Steff is off to dreamland and I’m here imagining every sound is a killer lurking about trying to figure out how to get in the window. And I couldn’t even call the husband unless I was willing to walk out in the driveway to get cell phone service. yeah, with a killer lurking around in the dark?! Ha! Nice try killer man, I am staying put in my comfy bed. After all Steff said she brought some guns, I later discover said “guns” are really her puny biceps. Yep, Steff’s biceps were all that protected us that night . . that and a box cutter I keep on my key ring to stab some eyeballs if I meet someone in a dark parking lot who needs a good eyeball stabbing. Yes, we are some bad- ass chicks . . . who vacation in Amish country!
Oh I did fail to mention that on the way home we stopped by a store called “Adultmart” we thought, wine . . . good books . . .bubble bath. . .reading glasses . . you know? Adult stuff.
We were so wrong, and the wrongness will haunt my nightmares for years to come . . .
But that is another story . . .
Lesa Lu 